A Perpetual Leap
by pantomimicry
Summary: One-shots, Ten Drabbles. J. Gordon/Batman. Post-Dark Knight. Alternating point of views between the scenes. They have loose chronological and plot associations; feel free to read them in any order you so choose.
1. Chapter 1

"We'll get you a new one?"

Parents say it to their children whose anger and grief can be pacified with a smile, whose blurry, tear rimmed eyes are wide because children feel everything innocently, especially sadness. But James Gordon is forty something and his sadness is tainted by fury and a distinct lack of naivety.

His floodlight on the roof of the MCU can't be replaced. He will not forget so easily the scent of leather and Kevlar, the way the air momentarily stills because a shadow unfailingly watches him. No one is going to get him a new one.


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce stops watching Gordon as Batman. He keeps watch now with television and newspapers: civilian methods. He is a broken man, and he gives up the shadows for people like Jim. In the process he broke the Commissioner as well. He forces on Gordon, so honest and gentle, a lie and a burden: a fresh hell. There isn't a way to apologize, to take away the weariness from Gordon's eyes, or the streaks of grey from his hair. Bruce lets Batman become a criminal for Jim. Jim, who, sleeps badly and still touches the fractured metal of a certain floodlight.


	3. Chapter 3

Batman is so furtive that he can count each out of place hair on the back of Gordon's neck. And then he lets out a measured, careful breath. The Commissioner turns so sharply he loses balance and a hand settles around Batman's wrist. He took a risk finding Gordon tonight and the danger is not his alone to bear. He knows though as he sees Gordon squint through his thick glasses, his eyes flashing in relief, that he has done some good. He shifts his hand letting Jim's calloused fingers rests against his pulse, demonstrating that yes he is alive.


	4. Chapter 4

"Commissioner."

He has learned not to jump at the sound of a disembodied voice, not to sigh when Batman steps from the shadows and into his kitchen. He's alone in his terrible apartment on the bad side of town. Jim brings a hand up to rub at his eyes because he knew that on his table, littered with dirty dishes and whiskey bottles, are files that he will have to solve alone. Before his vision clears a hand hovers above his shoulder.

It's against their rules to touch; a hand brushes his shoulder blades.

Rules are meant to be broken.


	5. Chapter 5

Their game of cat and mouse is necessary and they have adapted it to suit them. They play with a cunning mouse and a timid cat.

Gordon gives a lacklustre chase when he can and sometimes Batman finds him later, bloody trails highlighting the black of his armour. He stands taller than Jim even when he shouldn't be able to stand at all. Instead of offering gratitude, because that doesn't seem sufficient thanks for ruining a man's life; he silently hands over his tumbler of whiskey: one swallow left. They stand elbow to elbow until Jim's touching nothing but air.


	6. Chapter 6

He doesn't know what to make of Bruce Wayne: a drunken playboy or a boy whose cheek he touched as his world fell apart. Garcia throws them together when he wants to prove his crime polices work and he needs Wayne's money. It's a bland, easy routine if not for the hard knot in his stomach. Everything's tainted. But Wayne is just a bored kid and he forces himself to ignore the different, more honest, story his eyes tell. At the door they say goodbye; a hand settles on his shoulder and for an instant pain flashes across Wayne's face.


	7. Chapter 7

Barbara left him, not abruptly and certainly not without warning. Parents can't almost lose a child; have a gun held to their heads and still hold on to each other. They were amicable at least. For that he's thankful and he's grateful to be alone with his guilt. It felt dirty and cheap with a family at home. Now, when he stands on the roof watching the sky he stays until he's shivering. He stays until he hears the whoosh of a cape, feels the breeze. He waits. Eventually Batman's raspy voice will cut through the night, "Go home, Gordon."


	8. Chapter 8

They don't inhabit the same world, not like Batman and Jim do. Yet, they're at the same party and Bruce fits in seamlessly and Jim does his damnedest to be invisible. At dinner they sit next to each other and still the only thing Jim has to say to him is "nice party, Mr Wayne." His smile is diffident and seems innocent next to Bruce's. But, Gordon looks jaded among these elites, forlorn as he watches couples dancing. He can't give comfort to Gordon, not as Bruce Wayne. His image hinges on insincerity, but he touches Jim's wrist quickly, generously.


	9. Chapter 9

Twice a month he makes the trip to Cleveland, stays in a shitty motel and spends the weekend with his kids. Jimmy asks about Batman, if he's okay, if he's still the good guy, if people still believe in him. He doesn't have answers because Batman is moments of blackness, whispered words, never a whole being at once. But parents lie and he's making a career of dissembling. He tells his son Batman's fine. He wills himself to believe it as well. Though, hope is a dangerous sentiment when Batman's no more than a bedtime story now, an imaginary protector.


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm going to get you killed, Gordon."

He wishes it weren't true, that he and Jim didn't have to take the place of a whole police force. But there aren't many honest cops left and fewer still he trust with Gordon's life. He can't afford to care, to worry ceaselessly about an incorruptible man who doesn't need his protection but accepts it nevertheless. Jim's too thin, too laborious to be Commissioner; to run the show and play all the parts is too much for one man.

In the vanishing darkness Gordon looks vulnerable but his voice is unyielding. "Not tonight."


End file.
